• Trisha Bhattacharya

Who are these men?🤔

Intersectional feminism. Heard of it? It is inclusive- it fights for the justice that every human deserves. Similarly it requires the involvement of everyone. So, here's one aspect of it. Let me get this straight. We can't converse about feminism without involving men in the very conversation. Well, some one asked why include them-they are the problem. But problems only lead to solutions, so we are pleading men to be the change-bearers alongside women. Why do we need more and more feminist men in the coming days? Do you think more than half of the world's problem will be solved if gender equality is achieved? Maybe.

Feminist men can change the whole narrative of the traditional men. They have the power to dismantle the strong roots of patriarchy embedded even in the modern world today. Patriarchy comes in all forms, it can be so minor that it often gets brushed under the carpet. If more and more people are involved in the feminist movement, it gets easier to lift that heavy carpet, a true burden. Feminism is also in danger as it is left open to interpretation and it can often confuse people who are new to it. So, we need to be able to identify pseudo feminism, similarly there are certain kind of men one must distance themselves from. Why? Because they might be showing off their feminism but their approach isn't always feminist.

NOTE: These are solely observations of me and a friend and not claimed by any stats. Some characteristics might be found common to all these types. I am sure you will be familiar with at least one of them or maybe you have witnessed some other sort, feel free to comment! :)

Types of toxic men proclaiming to be feminists:

1. Men who use feminism as a tool to interact with women. They don't actually practice what they preach to people they have to impress. For them starting a conversation and letting their words take the authority to win over the women is the goal.

2. Men who don't treat men and women differently but also expect things (like gender roles/gender pre-assigned characteristics) to function in a certain way as a part of tradition.

3. This type is a cut above other men- they practice feminism but, often in their actions/languages, there exists an unconscious bias, they mansplain too. From their POV, it is only when women are visibly oppressed (eve-teasing/rape) that they face inequality. Otherwise, on a daily basis, a regular middle/upper-class woman enjoys the time of her life and there is nothing she has to be constantly worried about like come on she has a life, a job, a marriage, children, what more does she need?

Stemming from the above type arises another kind who live a normal life with their wives until one day when there occurs a fit of rage in the men (enters: domestic violence) and the wives are brutally beaten up (sometimes leading to their death). Shush the neighborhood with just a "ghar ka maamla hai" (matters of the household). You get the reference.

4. Men with a certain degree of entitlement that boosts their ego. The ego arises because they believe since they are feminist men/ have built themselves into one, they deserve to be lauded and not generalized with the phrase "all men". But if their ego shatters, as apparently fragile, what comes out is anger and sexist remarks. The embedded sexism never leaves/left.

5. The next type is a part of corporate feminism where in a company has set certain policies for supporting women and in this way the value/morals of the company increases manifolds. But what happens in office stays in the office. Men of those companies might be pitching feministic values to the outer world or even in their designed products but the behavior of some men towards the women employees might not align with their sales pitches, the pay gap might still exist and no one might be aware of it. Yet another case of embedded misogyny.

6. They don't really declare themselves as feminists or aren't loud about it but they are feminists. The only sad thing is that they are feminists to only specific people in their life, selectively stand up for women who they know closely.

7. This one still carries the idea of gender-assigned roles despite calling himself a feminist. For example- not helping in household chores, not parenting much, in fact not showing their vulnerability, etc.

Well, that's all we have come across and taken notes of, give each of these types a name, can you?

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